When my father died, he died peacefully and had his funeral wishes all planned out for everyone to follow along with his choice of funeral home . He even picked his own burial lot under a huge oak tree in a field overlooking a busy deer path. Imagine that in heaven! His funeral was totally planned in advance which left me more time to myself to grieve and to deal with my devastating loss. I think a child who is lucky enough to have experienced a good, loving, true, friend within their father, whom they call their hero will find a separation thing in life which will either make them grow up or give up. I chose the grown up path and I have found that being organized in life and death is most important to ones peacefulness in life. One of my very best girlfriends died in a house fire, her death left her unattended affairs chaotic. Having to help her mother sort through a list of things to do along with her mother being caught unprepared for her daughters death was most devastating to her and to me. Not only that her mother had to  face the overwhelming dealings of having to deal with a funeral home. I then realized I needed to do some serious planning on my own affairs so my two girls would not have to deal with all the mess one wound have to go through.  

Unfortunately, July 4^th, 2002, my first born daughter, Kandra Lee Wells Ramacca, passed away peacefully in her sleep. My intentions of this book were to help my two daughters in the preparation of my death. Not theirs! Her death has left a huge hole in my heart that can never mend. I’ll cry for her until I take my last breath. My heart aches for any mother who has lost her child. I can share with you my experience on how I prepared my family members funeral home dealings. I know how hard it is to think of what to say on your child’s marker. Don’t think for a while, wait. Time will figure it out for you. I wanted a 7' long ground marker with her picture in it for all to view her when someone visits her grave and so that her small children don’t forget her lovely face. I don’t want her forgotten and her resting place will one day be mine. My chosen cemetery only allows flat markers so that is why I chose a ledger (which is a flat marker). When shopping for a marker, do not buy a ledger, tombstone or marker from a funeral home. Go directly to the marker, tombstone maker themselves. You will save a huge amount of money. Death is very expensive and you won't know how to deal for the preparations and purchases. You have time to think about a marker or whatever you choose, so do not make it a rush thing. Funeral homes will try to rush you because they know you are grieving and that is when they corner you into " you need this", " you need that", which you really don’t need. Be careful! Most of the time you can still get online and find a cheaper casket and the same casket and still have it delivered on time for your funeral services. There is probably one close by you and you don’t even know it. My daughter laid in the funeral homes own casket until I picked hers out, so there is a body transfer period no matter what and unavoidable. So you have time to get a cheaper one.  Look on my links page for one.  You can get the same casket that a funeral home sells and save money even with delivery. The money you save on a marker can go towards the burial lot if you don’t have one. Check out fees before buying. Don’t get a marker immediately. Wait 6 months to clear your head and think of what to say. Some of us love cemeteries and verses or sayings are important. Remember it’s the last thing you can do for your loved one. Taking charge of your own funeral will bring great relief on those you leave behind. Trust me when someone you love dies, rumors start to fly. Death isn’t easy to deal with for it leaves all of us with those why questions still floating around in our head until the day we die. Death is among us and we are all next, so let’s be prepared and I hope this book helps you in some form or manner.  It helped me prepare my final plans and I will continue to update new things for you as input comes in from great customers like you.  

I always thought that my parents would live forever.

Now, I know they don't!

I always thought my friends would live forever.

Now, I know they don't!

I always thought that my children would live forever.

Now I know they don’t!

And now I know all my memories I thought were forever.

Are really not forever, for they die with you.

by Nance’ Leighton